Figuring it out...

        Simply put: I don't want to fail my children. In this world, I am almost sure that any loving parents do not want to cause any damage to their children. We usually begin this journey full of hope, and hands full of plans of what, where, and how we will raise our children. Then reality smacks us in the face the moment they are born and we realize they have arrived with personalities, hopes and plans of their own. Is every parent as naive as I was? I dreamed of prestigious private schools on rolling hills with modest class sizes and the best loving and attentive teachers on the planet. Their father and I would attend every PTA meeting, no - we would be the president and vice-president of the PTA. Our children would excel in every extracurricular activity the school offered. I would carpool and maybe even coach a team since I don’t do bake sales. But alas, life came knocking on my door along with a divorce and custody of three stair-step boys - no girls. Although they have spent much of their time in private schools, they did have a year and a half of being swallowed alive in public school. One principal told me to run, not walk, back to the private school they had attended. He had a megaphone in one hand and a 2 way radio in the other. I had an instant flashback of the movie "Lean on Me" starring Morgan Freeman. Yes, it was that bad. Another teacher literally begged me to find another school for my sons as she witnessed how they begin to digress. So I took a job with decent pay and horrible hours so I could place them back in the hands of an overpriced private school. While the boys did do much better, I began to see what I was really paying for - a name. An accreditation with a very detailed seal that looked so "official", but didn't really mean anything. I was stressed and so were the boys. Had I known what I know now, I may have pulled them out and homeschooled them. But then again, if I had felt the way I do now, maybe I wouldn't have.


I was what you would call a "smarty pants". I was an early reader, in the gifted program, scored high on standardized tests, was proud member of the Junior Beta Club and was the youngest member on the National Honors Society at my high school. Because of this, I was able to meet Mae C. Jemison and Oprah! But I was so bored in high school that I would finish up to 5 chapters of class assignments ahead of my peers and then cut class. Where did I go? Believe it or not, I went to just about every museum, library, zoo, and any other place where I could learn in town. I knew exhibits by heart. I've been kicked out of a few for being underage. What I didn't know then was that I was unschooling myself! I had a genuine love for learning. When I look at my boys and listen to the questions they ask me, or even try to find the answers themselves - I see 15 year old curious me. If my mother had known that it was okay to unschool or homeschool, I'm sure I would be a lot farther on my journey. But when you know better, you do better. And I plan to... as soon as I figure out a way NOT to ruin my sons’ education.